Category: Entries

I enjoy them immensely. Yet there’s a nagging voice in my head that tells me I’m wasting my time. It’s been an ongoing debate in my head for decades. The time-wasting narrative has been the victor most of the time. Even now I find it hard to argue. But it goes deeper than the activity…

I was raised in American schools, which deserve their poor reputation for providing a good education. Not to say I felt mine was awful, it just had a looot of room for improvement. The thing about entering a structured learning environment from the age of 6 is that the vast majority of your life experience…

For some reason that term is really calling to me today. To me it symbolizes all the stuff that is no longer serving you that keeps sticking around anyway. Maybe it never served you. I know my traumas were complex and substantial, but I also know that mental health conditions have fed into making my…

Because of the holidays my therapist and I didn’t see each other for 3 weeks. It was sooooo nice being back with her. As much as I’m learning to self-therapize a little, nothing beats an experienced and educated professional. I am learning to appreciate how the downs or absences make the ups much more noticeable.…

TW: Suicidal ideation/attempts, Self-harm This will be a doozy, so buckle up and proceed with caution. This is not a feel good post. Out of all the heavier topics I want to write about, this one hurts the most by far. When I think about all the struggles I’ve been through, my strongest memories are…

Are powerful. Not the fun party kind. The narratives we recite to ourselves and build up about our lives and the people in them. They. Are. Everywhere. It’s very sneaky, what they do. I’m really only noticing my stories for the first time. Just like a lot of things we carry with us for a…

I cannot live without them. I’ve always had a near-overwhelming amount of honesty with people. Ask me a question and odds are, I can’t hide or hold back what’s going on. To my detriment occasionally? Sure. But more importantly I feel so much better when I’m honest. It’s something that I don’t necessarily choose consciously.…

Dating. short-term, long-term, forever. It’s a really complex thing. In my experience, these relationships specifically really show you who you are and where you’re at mentally and emotionally. The more time I spend with someone, the more comfortable and familiar it feels. It pulls down facades and kills any conscious or subconscious performative behavior. Eventually.…

So this is one thing I need soooo much catching up with. I understand intellectually that I need rest after intensity, or time after a busy day. But really seeing that limit growing near or being hit is a new sense I’m trying to gain. It is so hard. For years and years I’ve construed…

It’s just another day really. Not in a bad way. I do think it’s a really good thing because it prompts a lot of people to reflect and decide on how they want to change. For me it’s full speed ahead on what I’ve already been doing. A consistent practice of self-love and love for…