New year

It’s just another day really. Not in a bad way. I do think it’s a really good thing because it prompts a lot of people to reflect and decide on how they want to change. For me it’s full speed ahead on what I’ve already been doing. A consistent practice of self-love and love for others. I like the simple goals. Of course I want to improve my physical fitness and do well in school and so on.

But those are secondary. What makes my day to day life feel the best is knowing I’m looking out for myself. That I can sit with myself and feel better for it. That was not the case whatsoever for most of my life. I was so uncomfortable giving my thoughts the time of day. By the end of the year I expect I’ll enjoy spending time doing nothing a whole lot more. It’s another thing on my mind a lot, letting go of engaging in some task and just taking it all in. Letting my thoughts wander. Taking notes if something comes out of it. Maybe reading a page or two of a book. Slowing down does so much to get my head in a better space. I am on a school break right now, so that’s a lot easier to do currently than it will be soon. All the more important though. The hustle and bustle wears me down quickly.

It’ll be a big test for me frankly. I haven’t been put under that state of near-constant stress since my transformation. But I’m not intimidated. I have trust and confidence that I can handle things. Not amazingly, perhaps, but I’ll get through! Having this confidence in myself will never get old I swear.

I’m so grateful to be alive. Not in every moment, but in this one for sure. The me of 4 months ago would not comprehend that one bit. People enrich my life so much and I’m starting to change my belief into accepting that I enrich others’ lives too. I’ve heard so much so many times about service to others, acts of kindness, selflessness. I get it a little bit more now.