Author: Just Some Stranger

I was raised in American schools, which deserve their poor reputation for providing a good education. Not to say I felt mine was awful, it just had a looot of room for improvement. The thing about entering a structured learning environment from the age of 6 is that the vast majority of your life experience…

For some reason that term is really calling to me today. To me it symbolizes all the stuff that is no longer serving you that keeps sticking around anyway. Maybe it never served you. I know my traumas were complex and substantial, but I also know that mental health conditions have fed into making my…

Because of the holidays my therapist and I didn’t see each other for 3 weeks. It was sooooo nice being back with her. As much as I’m learning to self-therapize a little, nothing beats an experienced and educated professional. I am learning to appreciate how the downs or absences make the ups much more noticeable.…

TW: Suicidal ideation/attempts, Self-harm This will be a doozy, so buckle up and proceed with caution. This is not a feel good post. Out of all the heavier topics I want to write about, this one hurts the most by far. When I think about all the struggles I’ve been through, my strongest memories are…

Are powerful. Not the fun party kind. The narratives we recite to ourselves and build up about our lives and the people in them. They. Are. Everywhere. It’s very sneaky, what they do. I’m really only noticing my stories for the first time. Just like a lot of things we carry with us for a…

I cannot live without them. I’ve always had a near-overwhelming amount of honesty with people. Ask me a question and odds are, I can’t hide or hold back what’s going on. To my detriment occasionally? Sure. But more importantly I feel so much better when I’m honest. It’s something that I don’t necessarily choose consciously.…

Dating. short-term, long-term, forever. It’s a really complex thing. In my experience, these relationships specifically really show you who you are and where you’re at mentally and emotionally. The more time I spend with someone, the more comfortable and familiar it feels. It pulls down facades and kills any conscious or subconscious performative behavior. Eventually.…

So this is one thing I need soooo much catching up with. I understand intellectually that I need rest after intensity, or time after a busy day. But really seeing that limit growing near or being hit is a new sense I’m trying to gain. It is so hard. For years and years I’ve construed…

It’s just another day really. Not in a bad way. I do think it’s a really good thing because it prompts a lot of people to reflect and decide on how they want to change. For me it’s full speed ahead on what I’ve already been doing. A consistent practice of self-love and love for…

Very exciting stuff. I have reflected many times lately how each day is so different from the one before it. It makes me feel alive and it’s such a new nice feeling. I’m interacting with people much more than before and it never gets old. I’m learning things about myself and every time it really…

Holy shit am I well acquainted with fear. Fear in my life has fueled or continues to fuel anxiety, depression, suicidality and a sense of hopelessness. And don’t get me started on hypervigilance. I am very uncomfortable with uncertainty, and if you look for it, you can find it everywhere. And find it I did.…

Sooooo, most of my life I’ve been told one way or another that gratitude is important. But I didn’t get it. I was raised in a religion where every prayer had some measure of “thanks” expressed, but that was a rote, thoughtless thing for me. I did have a few occasions where I meant what…

My first exposure to this concept at all was my first therapy sessions in 2018. I was able to feel the difference in my mood from a few minutes of focusing on my breath. There was one particular occasion where I had absolutely no thoughts at all. It was brief, but for the first time…

I’ve always treasured the company of people I’m close with. It’s given me time away from my troubles and that feeling of connection, belonging, and care for each other is my favorite thing in the world, bar none. I have been aware of this part of me for a long time now. When I was…

This is a truth of life that I’ve had extreme trouble understanding. After 4 years of therapy and a boatload of depression, I think I’m starting to get it. Until recently, whenever I felt down and bad about myself, I would feel so incredibly stuck in that state of mind and low, low mood. The…