Life when you’re tired

It just feels worse doesn’t it? And being aware of that is hard. I remind myself often that my moods and thoughts about myself or how life is going shift frequently and strongly. If I get a bad night’s sleep (or 2 or 3) then life feels a bit dimmer. It becomes “easier” to think negative things and jump to negative conclusions. One thing I am trying to catch myself on is not making any big decisions or judgment calls when I’m tired. I’m frankly compromised and not in a position that lends itself to clear thinking. And this isn’t just sleep-deprived tired. If it’s been a long day with a lot of things and people happening, you’re drained or spent emotionally or mentally. I like to use the phrase “my brain is fried”. Your brain runs out of fuel or dopamine and just falls out of the air like an engine stalling on a plane.

I treat myself differently than other people, and it’s kinda weird and not something I have much control over yet. If people tell me they’re struggling or tired, I am immediately understanding, nonjudgmental, etc. Without me deciding to though, I see myself as some sort of robot! When I get tired or struggle, I can’t seem to shake the belief that I need to just “do it anyway” or that it’s a personal failure rather than a fact of life that happens to everyone, myself included. It’s been frustrating realizing how deep that runs in me. I want to root this out so I can meet myself with kindness and compassion like I do others. I wouldn’t push someone when I can tell they’ve hit their limit, so why am I so casual with ignoring my own limits and keeping my expectations high? It’s a complicated answer.

Point being, I’m trying to recognize when I’m tired and be mindful of what I think and decide while I’m tired. It’s really burned me in the past when I’ve been feeling exhausted or bothered and then I decide something big while I’m in that state. Whether it’s relationships, school, work, whatever. I want to catch myself before I let my drained battery influence my decisions. It is temporary. Within a day or two I feel more energy and get my “mojo” back. And then I feel much safer making decisions. It’s very noticeably different now that I know what to look for. So be careful about yourself if you’re tired.