Life right now

Very exciting stuff. I have reflected many times lately how each day is so different from the one before it. It makes me feel alive and it’s such a new nice feeling. I’m interacting with people much more than before and it never gets old. I’m learning things about myself and every time it really feels like I’m getting to know myself better and like, get closer to myself. My truest self.

There’s a lot on my mind still about what I’ve yet to tackle and improve. Nutrition and physical fitness are 2 big ones that I’ve not revamped. Wayyy overdue. And that’s ok. I want to change them and I will. I’m not shaming myself for not taking care of it for so long nor for not getting it done right now. I trust myself to do something about it. It’s so surreal typing that and feeling it’s authentic. I love it. Rediscovering this enthusiasm for life that I’ve had glimpses of in the past is really wonderful.

I wish my sleep was better. I’ve been on a sleep med a while, at a pretty high dose, but it’s still hit or miss if I fall asleep or stay asleep. Most of my life I haven’t struggled with sleep like this so it really frustrates me sometimes. I’ll figure it out because I care a loooot about my sleep. I cannot do well on little sleep. Maybe I’ll commit to napping, idk right now quite.

It’s been fun lately being more in touch with my wants and needs and actually acknowledging and acting on them. Like wow it feels like a superpower. It’s a work in progress but the improvement is real and it’s so freaking cool. I have a lot of hobbies, interests, skills I want to improve and I’m spending more time thinking about them and doing them. I intend to do more of that as time goes on because it’s another way I’m taking care of myself and wowee is that special to me. Learning to let myself relax and just exist without any expectations is something I’ve been practicing too. Just 15 or 30 minutes every couple days. It’s simple yet oh so sweet. Gah, one thing about napping is I have to do it early to not screw with my night sleep but I only start feeling tired by like 1:30pm. Bruh.