STUCK

God it’s rough out here. In a nutshell, it’s as though my younger, traumatized, scared self is taking control of my life again. I can feel the fear and anxiety welling up and it’s not rational whatsoever. I am used to feeling things that come from thoughts. These last 2 weeks it’s just the emotions. There’s a ball of resistance and dread that lashes out at any attempt to get my life back in order, and so I distract and escape to not sit with that ball of awful. It doesn’t go away or get better for it. I will have to face it head on and overcome it. And rationally, I know it won’t be as bad as it feels like it’ll be. It’s temporary. I’m all mopey but not forever. I can and will get through this. But lately it feels soooo difficult to do so.