Honest conversations

I cannot live without them. I’ve always had a near-overwhelming amount of honesty with people. Ask me a question and odds are, I can’t hide or hold back what’s going on. To my detriment occasionally? Sure. But more importantly I feel so much better when I’m honest. It’s something that I don’t necessarily choose consciously. It’s my identity and character.

I wanted to write about this today because it’s been a really big help lately. The more meaningful thing I want to talk about is having honest conversations with yourself. This morning I sat down and spent 35 minutes just letting out whatever was in me. My thoughts, worries, wants, needs, and talking it out. This works best for me when I record it as I talk out loud, which I do recommend trying at least once. However it works best for you, I believe everyone needs to do this. Living with authenticity is a superpower. Knowing what’s weighing on you doesn’t inherently fix it, but it focuses your attention. I went into my conversation this morning feeling a little unsettled or confused about a few things. Typically, after I express those things out loud to myself I can see it more clearly and then I talk to myself about reframing things or deciding what I want to do differently.

I first did this in 2021, but I’d fallen out of practice until a couple months ago. I continually surprise myself lately with how much of a difference doing this makes for me. I come away with increased awareness and clarity, a renewal of what matters to me and what I want out of life. And I’m able to self-soothe! It’s hard to describe how much better I feel, really. Good for me, right? I do hope me writing about this gives you a chance to check in with yourself as well. I can say with confidence that this will help you too. Finding a way to incorporate this even once a week or so will give you power in your life. It’s a great enabler for self-growth and knowing what really matters to you and what you want to do about it. You’ll understand better what’s stressing you and why.

I’m fortunate that this comes naturally to me, so I think I take it for granted a little. Starting a new habit or practice like this is hard. But good things are rarely easy.

I haven’t even talked yet about having honest conversations with people in your life. Highly recommend. Hopefully you have someone or multiple someones you can rely on for this such as a therapist, relative, partner, or close friend. I talked with my mom this morning for example. I really appreciate our relationship. We quickly get to deep topics about our growth, thoughts, struggles, etc. It’s a really important part of connection for me, going beyond the small talk and getting to what people are feeling and thinking about. It’s really refreshing having someone you can trust to be vulnerable with. We all want to be seen and understood. Without access to that we’re worse off, plain and simple. Creating this with yourself or with someone is vital. It’s also scary being vulnerable. Trusting someone to listen to you without judgment or ulterior motives fills us with uncertainty.

If you don’t have anyone to do that with, do it for yourself and find someone, anyone. If you are out of touch with your needs and priorities, they’ll never get met. You don’t want that and neither do I. We never have full control over our lives, but this empowers you to take some control back. I live more purposefully being honest. You will too.